18 years ago, May 12th I married my best friend. We only dated 9 months but we knew and God knew just the right person for each other…. In fact, he was opposite from any man I had ever dated!! 
That was my proof that God chose him!
It was a fairy tale wedding complete with carriage and one of THE BEST and most FUN days of my life! 
The last 18 years has not always been a fairytale, though there have been experiences that have been. Overall t’s been the best journey for both of us. God has grown us in incredible ways, unimaginable to us at the time.
We’ve been through some incredible lows, some incredible highs and everything in between. There have been some times with “heated fellowship” when I wondered if we would make it. Within a year after we got married we found ourselves in our pastor’s office questioning this quest of marriage. He told us it was normal to experience some bumps.
Having recently ended and abusive relationship before I met Andy, neither of us anticipated how much healing I still needed to do from that trauma and how ugly at times I could be in reacting to a trigger. It was downright scary at times.
Yet through it all, Andy loved me right where I was, wanting desperately to get through, praying. I know it hasn’t always been easy for him or me. There were many times I thought it might be easier to run away; to give up; to throw in the towel. But we stayed in the thick of it… when the real enemy was doing his best to tear us apart.
The thing is so many people get married, thinking that there’s this happily ever after, perfection. Nowhere in our marriage vows does it say thou shall not be conflict or disagreement. That is not reality.
The truth is … we are marrying an imperfect and fallible human; we vow to love in good AND bad.
Healthy conflict (not the abusive type) and differences are what grows us and deepens relationships; it tests our fortitude in responding with love and trains us in the moment how to give grace and forgiveness. We are iron sharpening iron and sometimes it’s painfully hard because it requires us to change.We aren’t the same as when we got married…. and that’s good.
We have always persevered through those conflicts, celebrating the highs and doing our best to work through the lows, rooted in our faith and promises, with God at our center. 
Why write all this? because it’s easy on social media to post all the good stuff and never mention any of the struggles. I want be real so others know they too can persevere through the hard stuff. The reward is a strong unshakeable bond.
Andy is a man following God’s heart. He has been my confidant, my “sparring partner” and an incredible father. I am grateful for our struggles because withoit them healing could not have occurred. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I woukd do it all over again.
Cheers to the good, the bad and everything in between 
