(Part 1 of a multi-part series.)
Depression is many things and it really affects people on a spectrum depending on a multitude of factors.
Depression is..
real
a nutrient deficiency
debilitating
life hitting you again and again
smiling on the outside while you cry inside
putting one foot in front of the other
focusing on one thing at a time just so you can move the needle forward
withdrawal
hormonal imbalance
chemical imbalance
unprocessed emotions
feeling small
looking up to the heavens and wondering where you fit
being thankful to have kids and animals that get us out of bed
wondering when you will catch a break
unable to understand God’s plan and doing your best to believe he’s got good things coming
trying to “keep my chin up”
wondering what’s the point in all the effort when there’s so much struggle
lack of motivation
confusion
shutting down
ignoring emails and texts
dreading the question “how are you” bc answering honestly means you have to explain why you aren’t ok or good
holding it all together the best you can
putting it aside for the sake of others just so you can not bring them down
finding small ways to be present
pulling back
numb
creative blocks
wanting to just be happy
trying not to cry
not wanting to share bc its just too much and I don’t know where to begin
not wanting to share because I just want to do what I know to do to get through it
opportunity for God to work
keeping meetings even when I am not feeling up to engaging
keep commitments even when I don’t “feel” like it
not caring about anything
having no opinion
frustrating
more than sadness
tiring
half present
canceling meetings when I just can’t be present
not wanting to talk about it bc most think its a “just cheer up” moment.
Overcome-able
all of the above
If thats you… I hear you, I see you and I get you. You are not alone. I know it because depression is something I personally battle. The worst was in 2006 and in 2016, major life events.
And it’s been HARD. Yet it’s Overcome-able. It truly is.
This is not easy. It is work.
It’s more than changing your mindset and thinking happy thoughts. It is an every day, digging deep to focus on the next thing and the next thing and the next, continuing to do small things to move forward. It’s determination to not stay in this place.
Sometimes it’s simply getting through the next 5 minutes.
If it weren’t for my husband, kids, my animals, friends and clients that God has placed in my life I would be much worse off. They are my reasons to keep going.
